Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
