My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am spending my child support on dildos
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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