I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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