i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
