I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize