then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
