I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
