Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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