im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize