and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
