And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
