He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
