so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
