I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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