idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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