Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
