so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
