Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
