After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
