and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
