Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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