I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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