Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
