but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
