I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
