she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
