i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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