She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am available for nakedness
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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