Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
