I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
