he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
