normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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