if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
