How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
