New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize