I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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