So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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