you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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