She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
