I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
