You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
