All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I FOUND THE LEGS
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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