THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
