its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
