I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
