He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
