There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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