I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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