Non-Jews are for practice
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
