Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
