I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
