It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
