What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
