I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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