So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
