need another drink. this is the easiest way
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Randomize
